Gone

26 04 2012

Sometimes you just don’t know what to say after a film other than “huh?”

Gone, starring the utterly unsuitable Amanda Seyfried, regularly requires you basically shrug your shoulders and sigh. It’s pretty terrible but curiously amusing.

Basic plot: Amanda claims she is the sole survivor of a kidnapper/murderer. Since then she has struggled to feel safe and becomes an outright lunatic when her sister is kidnapped. She’s convinced it’s the same guy, the police are convinced she’s imagining it, so she does what anyone would: she starts lying to everyone and breaking laws to prove it happened.

What’s a little sad about this film is that, at several points, it suggests a darker, much more interesting story going on underneath. Was she really the victim of a mysterious serial killer or is she mentally unstable and fabricating everything? Is she the gutsy female who’s looking after herself or is she a habitual liar with a seriously violent streak?

You can probably guess that the film only deals with these issues in the most shallow possible way. However, it doesn’t really stop it from being enjoyable. It’s a bad film and it really makes no sense, but it is pretty fun. And there’s little to top how sinister everybody is, just to keep the red herrings swimming.


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Films

The (mass) effect

7 04 2012

imagesYes, everyone’s shouting about it. But since I didn’t buy Mass Effect 3 (all games will be referred to as ME) when it came out, it took me a while to get there. And, like almost every fan out there (bar a few weird “it’s ART” types), I’m disappointed in it.

Game Front’s Ross Lincoln has done a comprehensive explanation of why the fans are annoyed, and I agree with all of it. So I won’t go over that ground. What I will go over is why I think it happened, simply from a writing/narrative perspective.

The issue isn’t that ME3′s ending is negative, or that it’s strange (hey, I’m a huge fan of David Lynch), but that it’s nonsensical and ignores the stated purpose of the series.
It’s not grown up just to be bleak, it is grown up to present shades of grey. And it’s even more grown up to reflect the choices a player has made, not just in the trilogy, but simply the game you’re playing.

Read the rest of this entry »


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Games

Foreign films!

20 03 2012

For the next few weeks, as well as a steady diet of odd action movies and crap horror, I’m going to watch foreign films (or just with notable foreign directors). I’ve got a few on my list already:

Spoorloos (The Vanishing) – the Dutch thriller, later remade with Jeff Bridges but by the same director

Flesh + Blood – Paul Verhoeven’s middle-ages sword and shagging epic

Soldier of Orange – Verhoeven again, but this time reflecting on growing up during the Nazi occupation of Holland.

Generally, I want to watch genre films, so action, thrillers, crime (special points for good crime movies), horror, etc. But any ideas are welcome!

I’ll watch and post my reviews here.


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Films

Robbery!

4 08 2011

Writing about the evil machinations of the industry is two parts paranoia and one part frustration. My general lack of achievement in music is my own fault really. Too many years treading water left me sodden and lacking agility.

That’s why I’m 29 and only just now making a concerted effort to do anything with my stuff. And that’s mostly thanks to my current crew: Jamie, Kenny, Steven and Al. Inspiring people.

Back to the machinations… gigging. It’s tough making money out of live music – it requires an investment of time, money and intelligence. And even with those things you ultimately rely on the bands. A lot of those bands aren’t really in it for the right reasons. They want to be in a band, but they don’t want to actually BE a band with all the energy and commitment that requires.

As a promoter, you could book out a venue, ask three bands to come along and sell as many tickets as they can. They turn up, having sold nothing, and play to no one before complaining they had no audience. And you’ve lost money.

So, naturally you think you won’t take that chance again. Instead you apply “ticket minimums”. It sounds officious and, more than anything, it’s not pay to play, because that’s awful and you wouldn’t do that to bands. But it’s just a variant and in some ways it’s worse.

Pay to play was awful. Basically it’s when promoters expect bands to pay their way onto a bill. If they can’t, they don’t get to play. Shameful stuff, right? The Musicians Union barred many venues in the 90s and early 2000s on account of it. Many venues blacklisted promoters. But in the last few years, spurred on by the struggling economy, it’s made a quiet and malicious comeback.

Here’s how it works: promoter gives you 20 tickets, says he needs the money from the first 10 sold. I’ve seen promoters say the extra sales are yours or need to be split 50-50. They claim they have costs to cover (venue, equipment, promotion) and that they’re giving you a great stage to play on.

How much of that is true? Not a single part of it. Let’s look at venue costs. A decent small venue like The 13th Note in Glasgow costs £50 to hire for the night. That gives you the stage, PA plus extras, staff for the bar and a sound guy. You need to bring amps, drum kits, etc. Let’s say you can source all of this or the bands agree to bring and share. Promotion is a bit trickier. Most of the local newspapers and culture type things have free event listings. You might have some posters but at local band level these are generally laser printed so even 50 will only cost maybe £5. £55 for the night.

Let’s say the tickets are £5 each and the four bands playing (often the number on these shows) give their minimum, even if they’ve not sold enough tickets (why do they do this? Because they don’t know better and think they won’t be allowed to play if they don’t have the money). That’s £145 straight into the promoter’s pocket, with the bare minimum investment.

The promoter hasn’t brought anyone along, hasn’t spent any time promoting the gig, and hasn’t done anything that will get the bands any attention. All the promoter has done is profited of other people’s hard work. The band ends up with nothing to show other than a gig that probably cost them money to play at.

That is not promoting, not the way I understand it. It’s profiteering. There are better deals out there if bands work together. You don’t need a promoter, you just need likeminded individuals to share the cost and all put effort in.

That’s what we’re going to do. We had one semi-successful shot already and we’re going to do more. Small venues, good bands, low cost, all working together to help each other grow. I sound like a hippy… :o (

 


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : About me, Bands, Dislikes

Welcome to London

18 07 2011

I’ve taken a short-term  secondment from my old job. I wanted a new challenge and now I’m getting it, but not in the way you might think.

Here’s what happened: flew to Londonland earlier this evening. Forgot what an endless journey it is between Heathrow and the city centre, got on the train arrive at my destination an hour after getting off the flight. All good, I walk to the hotel and the desk clerk says, “Excuse me sir, I’ll just be a minute,” and then disappears for about ten.

Ok, I’m getting a little worried. The hotels were all booked up when I’d been booking my room. What if they’d given my room away? What would I do?

Basically, they hadn’t given my room away, it had become unavailable due to a maintenance issue. So they’d given my room away. To make up for it and keep me off the streets, they offered to taxi me off to the Marriott in Regent’s Park. I knew no difference and just wanted my bed, so hurrah.

The taxi driver (complementary, of course) arrived. This wasn’t a London cab. It was a bloke in a Fiat. Now he was very lovely and as it turned out very calm for a driver in London. But for a few minutes I kept checking my GPD to make sure we were on a recognised route. All because Marcus at work told me a story about the time he thoughts he was kidnapped by a dodgy taxi driver in Rio.

Get to the hotel and, actually, it’s nicer than the other one. Shame I have to swap over tomorrow night. Oh well…

I’m going to get some more USA pictures up soon.


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : About me, Dislikes

Home again, work again

13 07 2011

Heartbroken. That’s the word. I’ve been back a day and I want to go to the US again already.

I really loved it, even though people didn’t understand a word I said. My favourite example was in the Holocaust Memorial inWashingtonDC.

Me: Hi, can you tell me if there’d be any problems with me taking photos in here?

Older attendant: Sorry?

Me: Am I allowed to take photos inside the museum?

Younger attendant: Uh, there’s a guided tour every hour.

<silent contemplation follows>

Me: I’m not sure that answered the question. Am I allowed to take photos inside the exhibition?

Younger attendant: I’ve got the brochures if you want to read them.

Me: Em… no, you’re not following what I’m saying. <I hold up my camera> Can I use this <points at the camera> inside the museum?

Older attendant: Oh no, no photos allowed.

Huh?

By the end of the trip I was slipping into that horrible transatlantic drawl pretentious Brits affect when they live between both countries. I used to think it was because they were wankers, but now it’s clear it’s because Americans don’t understand anything you say unless you use visual aids.

But oddly enough, they seem to be able to ask you for a tip. Tipping is just weird over there. Most of you will know this – they expect a tip as a formality. I imagine the conversation would go like this:

Waiter: “I brought the plate to your table, that’s worth $5.”

Me: “Please, shout for me to come and get it if it’s that big a hassle!”

This tipping madness climaxed in Downtown Disney’s House of Blues. First off, it was a bit of a let down because it had the sum of nothing to do with the blues. I heard more ofFlorenceand the Machine than I did of BB King in the hour or so we were there. She’s not blues. She’s not even any good.

The food was good though – I had a lovely steak with great mashed potatoes. So, what caused my ire? It was the waiter. Now he did a perfectly ok job. He brought the food, he was polite (if a little too friendly, in fact) but was that worth the 20% suggested tip he wrote at the bottom of the bill?

No, it wasn’t. And it’s not like it’s a hard thing to calculate, so writing it down is both patronising and terribly presumptuous. I gave him 10% for doing his job to a fairly normal standard. Yeah, minimum wage sucks, but if you want 20% of the bill how about you actually earn it?

Overall though, it’s a fantastic place to see – the sunshine, the voices, the beaches, the deeply insane news channels, all are part of a rich tapestry of theUSA.

We finished our trip inBoston, with the wonderful accents and the least credible Irish ancestry I’ve ever seen. Sorry dude, if you’re four generations from the last person that was actually born inIreland, you are not Irish. Get over it. It’s even worse than the “I’m half-Irish” balls you hear inScotland. No, drinking Guinness does not make you Irish, it just makes you slightly untrustworthy.

On the Sunday we headed back to NYC for one last night. It was still warm, but more tolerable thanFlorida’s heat. We did a bit more wandering, I bought a set of harmonicas (a delight for my neighbours, I’m sure), walked to Central Park, then headed up theRockefellerTowerone last time.

Seeing the city, all around you, with all the lights up is staggering. It’s beautiful and the night was clear enough to see past all the bridges. The area whereCentral Parksits is like a black void in the middle of the city, absorbing the light from all around it. Seeing something like that makes me feel a little sad, but strangely connected that we’re all just little lives creating something bigger than ourselves in those moments.

After that, even the flight home wasn’t too bad (mind the turbulence, though). I had a head full of experiences I’d never had before. I’m so grateful to my sister and her husband for such a wonderful holiday. It was generous beyond expectation and everything was so brilliantly planned. Thank you to them, more than paltry words can convey.

But it’s back to normal life now. At least until I save enough to go and see another part of that mad, mad country.


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : About me

A Disney adventure, a Boston bonanza

9 07 2011

And finally, we hit the moment most people were waiting for: David meeting Disney. I would forgive you for expecting I would hate it – I thought I would, but I really loved it.

Almost every “family” attraction is so sentimental it becomes sickening. Disney is so sincere and so lovingly done it’s hard to begrudge it.

As much as a theme park ever could be, Disney World is art. The attention to detail, the little stories in the rides, the archives that are so lovingly displayed. The art and design of the House of Mouse is everywhere. There are cuddly toys based around Steamboat Willie, Mickey’s animated debut, as well as more unusual things – the manga-style Mickey is a little disturbing.

After we arrived on the Sunday, we had late opening tickets exclusively for resort guests. So that night was spent in the surreal experience of first seeing the Magic Kingdom in the dark. I was flung around Thunder Mountain, spun in the Mad Hatter’s TeaCups, rocketed around Space Mountain and drenched on Splash Mountain. We were staying in Port Orleans, part of the resort, so it was quick to get back after. But the next day we headed out to the Animal Kingdom and their lodge.

As became a theme very quickly, it’s beautiful. The whole place is filled with African art (its collection is second only to the Smithsonian in Washington DC, apparently) and so impeccably designed that I didn’t mind the fifteen minute walk from the lobby to my room. Especially when I looked outside and saw a giraffe wandfering around. Awesome.

The Kingdom is fantastic. On the safari I saw rhinos, elephants, monkeys, a lion, a lioness, alligators, hippos, cranes, gazelles… I could keep going. There was a bird show with all sorts of owls, parrots and a truly amazing American bald eagle. Those creatures are so stunning, it makes me sick people would hunt them.

Hollywood Studios is a stunning evocation of 40s/50s style movie studios. As well as a lot of movie-influenced stuff (including Pixar rides) there is one of my favourite things in the world now – the Tower of Terror. Another example of Disney’s attention to detail – it’s based on the 50s show The Twilight Zone and even features Ron Serling as the presenter of the ride. The amount of work, the little touches in keeping with the show, the ride itself… just amazing. And being dropped ten storeys is not a sensation that will be forgotten quickly. My stomach still lurches at the thought of it.

Anyway, Epcot was quite something in its own way. Amazing scenery, evocations of the world’s most famous cities and the show at the end of the night. Just wow.

Twice we went to breakfast with the Disney characters. Say nothing. I loved every minute of it!

Then the heaven’s opened. After unseasonably warm weather, even by Florida standards, the pressure broke and there was thunder like a shotgun. BANG! Water everywhere. In 30 seconds the place was sodden. The man-made rivers surrounding Disney were swollen.The doors were locked. So I did what any spart person would do: I bought a poncho.

We wandered around the park, watched the Electric Light Parade, and then the closing fireworks. The stormy weather left them somewhat subdued, eerie echoes of what they meant to be as they lit the clouds that shrouded them. It was still beautiful. And the light show before hand, when they imitated someone drawing the castle, was beautiful.

And that was it for Disney. The little mouse made every effort to take all my money with his sugary drinks and wonderful merchandise, but I loved it. We got up early to fly to Boston today.

We arrived around 2pm. Not my luggage though. No, it went to San Juan in Puerto Rico. Hopefully I’ll have it back tomorrow morning, but that was a bit of a dampener.

Thank America for Boston in general though. I really love it. The old style of much of the city, the history, the accents… bliss. Ok, the weather’s a bit iffy but I’m actually enjoying wearing my jeans and jumper. I’ve missed them.

Not sure what we’re doing, but I feel like this holiday has been a LOT longer than it has been. And there’s still more to come. Joy.


Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Uncategorized

« Previous Entries


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.